Chapter Nine: Revelations
Rehan
I was flabbergasted. I didn't
know what to say or how to react. She was behaving way too weirdly as the time
kept passing. It was pretty bright sunlight outside now. I guessed it was about
to lunch time. I pulled away my hands from her from her holding and stood up.
It was way too much for me to
digest right since early in morning. I needed to clear my head and sort the
things out. I picked up the diary and started to leave without uttering a word.
"Where are you
going?" She asked in disillusion.
"I need to clear my
head." I replied.
"Please don't leave
me." She whimpered.
"No I am not. Please
don't cry. I am not going anywhere. I just need to clear my head with these
thoughts raging in my mind like angry wildebeests."
I stood by door when she got
up and gazed out of the window. Suddenly she briskly walked out of the room
without saying a word. I followed her. She ran towards her room down the lobby,
shedding tears.
I was keen to go after her
but I didn’t know what was stopping me. Maybe I should let her be on own for
some time. No way, I thought. I shouldn’t repeat the same mistake I did with
Tanya. What if she was to harm herself? No I can't let this happen.
The door of her room was
slightly ajar. So instead of going inside I had a look through the minor
opening, if she wasn't trying to harm herself. I was relieved to see that she
wasn't. She was lying on the bed, upside down. Her face dug deep in pillows and
sobs were loud enough to be heard out of the room. I closed the door tacitly
and left her alone.
I tried to calm down the
thoughts with the stream of warm water gushing from the showerhead. A warm bath
relaxed me a lot. There were a lot of questions popping up in my mind. What was
in this diary that Ruhani went so dramatic just on the thought of me reading
it? How many secrets did this diary contain? Should I read it? Why Tanya didn't
tell me about it? Who combined those diaries?
And then it suddenly occurred
to me. If there were two diaries where was the other?
I came out of the shower,
dressed up quickly and went to see Ruhani. I walked downstairs into Ruhani's
room but to my utter surprise she wasn't there.
I quickly climbed back
upstairs to go to Tanya's room, and there she was. She was at the same place
waiting for me.
"What took you so
long?" She asked as I closed the door.
"I first went to your
room, but didn't find you there. So I just came here to see if you were
here." I said.
"It's okay." She
said and then there was a long silence.
I sat beside her on the bed
and handed her the diary. Since she said she will read it out for me.
"You were curious about
this diary, right? I will tell you everything. By everything I mean even the
things that are not even written. The things that I wanted you to know long
back but due to some reasons I had to keep them a secret." She said in a
tone like she was about to unveil the darkest secrets.
"I have a few questions
though" I said.
"Your questions can wait
I guess. Since you might find the answers in what I am going to tell you.”
"Okay, go ahead."
Ruhani
He was trying to calm me
down. My head was resting on his shoulder. I was holding his hands in mine
while he suddenly pulled away from me and stood up. He took the diary in his
hands and started to walk out of the room without uttering a word.
I felt a jolt in head. I
caught his hand and asked him "Where are you going?"
"I need to clear my
head" He said.
I don't know what took over
me next. My tears were forcing their way out my eyes. I looked out of the window
for a moment and just briskly walked out of the room. Unable to control my
tears I ran towards my room. I forcefully opened the door and just slammed
myself on bed. I forcefully dug my head deep in pillows and kept sobbing. My
sobs were loud enough to be heard from the other room.
I didn't want anyone to hear
me crying. So I controlled my emotions and tried to calm myself down. I quickly
freshened up and headed towards Tanya's room. He wasn't there. I sat on the bed
and kept gazing out of the window thinking what was about to happen next. The
secret I had kept hidden all my life, a secret which I didn't even share with
Tanya? Was it appropriate to reveal it? Maybe it was time. I didn’t want him to
know the half-truth and judge me.
My thoughts were disrupted by
him walking into the room. His questioning gaze was having an effect on me. But
I decided to hide my reactions and asked him what took him so long. To which he
said he didn't knew he would find me here.
He handed me the diary. I
knew it was a sign for me to start revealing what was in the diary.
"You were curious about
this diary right? I will tell you everything. By everything I mean even the
things that are not in this diary. The things that I wanted you to know long
back but due to some reasons I had to keep them a secret." I kept the
diary aside and said.
"I have a few questions
though" he interrupted.
"Your questions can wait
I guess. Since you might find all your answers in what I am going to say.”
"Okay, go ahead."
And I started to open myself
up in front of him. As I narrated his expressions changed frequently as if he
was living in those moments. I felt numb, I didn't know what was I doing and
why.
Suddenly there were no thoughts in my mind. The torment which was I was going through a few moments before was gone suddenly. He was a good listener. He didn't stir for even for a second. He kept his gaze on me all while I kept opening up myself to him, revealing things which I have never told anyone else. That day seemed like the longest day of my life.
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