Chapter Nine: Revelations


Chapter Nine: Revelations


I was flabbergasted. I didn't know what to say or how to react. She was behaving way too weirdly as the time kept passing. It was pretty bright sunlight outside now. I guessed it was about to lunch time. I pulled away my hands from her from her holding and stood up.

It was way too much for me to digest right since early in morning. I needed to clear my head and sort the things out. I picked up the diary and started to leave without uttering a word.

"Where are you going?" She asked in disillusion.

"I need to clear my head." I replied.

"Please don't leave me." She whimpered.

"No I am not. Please don't cry. I am not going anywhere. I just need to clear my head with these thoughts raging in my mind like angry wildebeests."

I stood by door when she got up and gazed out of the window. Suddenly she briskly walked out of the room without saying a word. I followed her. She ran towards her room down the lobby, shedding tears.

I was keen to go after her but I didn’t know what was stopping me. Maybe I should let her be on own for some time. No way, I thought. I shouldn’t repeat the same mistake I did with Tanya. What if she was to harm herself? No I can't let this happen.

The door of her room was slightly ajar. So instead of going inside I had a look through the minor opening, if she wasn't trying to harm herself. I was relieved to see that she wasn't. She was lying on the bed, upside down. Her face dug deep in pillows and sobs were loud enough to be heard out of the room. I closed the door tacitly and left her alone.

I tried to calm down the thoughts with the stream of warm water gushing from the showerhead. A warm bath relaxed me a lot. There were a lot of questions popping up in my mind. What was in this diary that Ruhani went so dramatic just on the thought of me reading it? How many secrets did this diary contain? Should I read it? Why Tanya didn't tell me about it? Who combined those diaries?

And then it suddenly occurred to me. If there were two diaries where was the other?

I came out of the shower, dressed up quickly and went to see Ruhani. I walked downstairs into Ruhani's room but to my utter surprise she wasn't there.

I quickly climbed back upstairs to go to Tanya's room, and there she was. She was at the same place waiting for me.

"What took you so long?" She asked as I closed the door.

"I first went to your room, but didn't find you there. So I just came here to see if you were here." I said.

"It's okay." She said and then there was a long silence.

I sat beside her on the bed and handed her the diary. Since she said she will read it out for me.

"You were curious about this diary, right? I will tell you everything. By everything I mean even the things that are not even written. The things that I wanted you to know long back but due to some reasons I had to keep them a secret." She said in a tone like she was about to unveil the darkest secrets.

"I have a few questions though" I said.

"Your questions can wait I guess. Since you might find the answers in what I am going to tell you.”

"Okay, go ahead."


He was trying to calm me down. My head was resting on his shoulder. I was holding his hands in mine while he suddenly pulled away from me and stood up. He took the diary in his hands and started to walk out of the room without uttering a word.

I felt a jolt in head. I caught his hand and asked him "Where are you going?"

"I need to clear my head" He said.

I don't know what took over me next. My tears were forcing their way out my eyes. I looked out of the window for a moment and just briskly walked out of the room. Unable to control my tears I ran towards my room. I forcefully opened the door and just slammed myself on bed. I forcefully dug my head deep in pillows and kept sobbing. My sobs were loud enough to be heard from the other room.

I didn't want anyone to hear me crying. So I controlled my emotions and tried to calm myself down. I quickly freshened up and headed towards Tanya's room. He wasn't there. I sat on the bed and kept gazing out of the window thinking what was about to happen next. The secret I had kept hidden all my life, a secret which I didn't even share with Tanya? Was it appropriate to reveal it? Maybe it was time. I didn’t want him to know the half-truth and judge me.

My thoughts were disrupted by him walking into the room. His questioning gaze was having an effect on me. But I decided to hide my reactions and asked him what took him so long. To which he said he didn't knew he would find me here.

He handed me the diary. I knew it was a sign for me to start revealing what was in the diary.

"You were curious about this diary right? I will tell you everything. By everything I mean even the things that are not in this diary. The things that I wanted you to know long back but due to some reasons I had to keep them a secret." I kept the diary aside and said.

"I have a few questions though" he interrupted.

"Your questions can wait I guess. Since you might find all your answers in what I am going to say.”

"Okay, go ahead."

And I started to open myself up in front of him. As I narrated his expressions changed frequently as if he was living in those moments. I felt numb, I didn't know what was I doing and why.

Suddenly there were no thoughts in my mind. The torment which was I was going through a few moments before was gone suddenly. He was a good listener. He didn't stir for even for a second. He kept his gaze on me all while I kept opening up myself to him, revealing things which I have never told anyone else. That day seemed like the longest day of my life.

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