Chapter Twenty Four


Next morning Jay gets up to find Anjani missing from the bed. She was already up before him. It was quite weird for him as usually she was the one who used to sleep late and Jay had to wake her up usually. He smiles and gets up stretching his arms. Just like his daily routine, he folds the beds up and keeps them back into the storage room. He heads downstairs to freshen up and write about his day to Parnika in an email.

“Jay, breakfast is ready. You wanna come down or should I bring it up here?” Anjani walks into his room. She notices Jay is writing a huge letter in email. “What are you writing?” She comes close and looks. “Oh, I am writing email to Pari, I am just doing it as I do always. I know she can’t be mad at me for a long time now. She’d write back to me soon.” Anjani read how Jay wrote everything that happened yesterday as if it had been a diary. I need to read more of this to find out if he is indeed serious about me or not. But I don’t wanna let him know else he might feel bad that I am doubting him. But what if he is actually just not with me as much as he thinks? Oh this is going to kill me if I don’t find the answer soon.

Later when Jay went to office, Anjani sneaked into his room. She had called in sick and wanted to rest at home when Jay asked why she wasn’t ready for the shop. Usually he used to drop her off at her antique shop before going to office. She opens his laptop and logs in. She opens his browser to find the password is already saved. She logs in and looks into the sent emails. She finds emails back dating to the days before they met. She opens them one by one and begins to read them all. She begins with the oldest ones first going in the ascending order reading every single one.

She reads the line where Jay describes her as attractive and beautiful and blushes. The next moment her smile turns into frown when he writes that she is very similar to Parnika in a ton of things. It reminds him of her presence even when she’s mad at him and not around him

 So It is true, I was right last night. He loves me because I am similar to Pari and not because of me. How can I be such a fool? I thought he likes me but I didn’t know that he was looking for her in me. But why is he with me if he really likes her? I remember khushi saying that I resemble her a lot. But I hadn’t imagined this. I can’t build my relationship being in a shadow of someone’s memories. Maybe he’s yet to find out his feelings for her? What should I do? Help them to get together or be selfish and just enjoy being with him.  Her eyes get wet as she reads more how Jay describes each of their spent moments beautifully. She smiles and cries at the same time as she loved how both Jay and Parnika cared for each other but were right now miles away from each other.

I can’t just let her take Jay away from him. We might appear to be similar but I am not her. I am not going to let go the one I love like her. Anyway, she’s far away from here for a long time. If I make it happen, jay would not think about her at all. All he’ll remember is about me. I won’t let him discover his feelings for her at all. Let it be under the disguise of friendship. I’ll make him just mine forever.

While closing the app she quickly copies the password and syncs the email with her phone.

“Anu, where are you? We have to go….” Jay sits on the couch waiting for Anjani to get ready. As promised Jay was taking her on a dinner and a long drive tonight. The booking had been postponed to today. “Coming Jay” She appears from room wearing a nice saree. Jay's eyes go from her head to toe awestruck. “You're looking gorgeous” he gets up and looks at her. She smiles and holds his arm. “Let’s go then”. Jay was seemingly taking her to a place when they haven’t been before. It was quite outside the city limits as she saw him enter the highway. The drive was quiet filled with romantic music from the car stereo and the traffic was luckily free flowing tonight. It took them less than an hour to their destination. Jay had taken her to a new restaurant that had opened on the outskirts of the city recently.

Jay had booked a table in the open terrace where there was fake grass beneath and small table with candles. There was nothing but starlight above and candle light all around them. Most people around them were young couples dining together. The whole place had a romantic aroma to it. They order the food and sip on their drinks waiting for it. Jay gets up and excuses himself while she observes others around. Young couples enjoying their romantic dinner. She felt bad for him as this was way better than what she had planned yesterday. Maybe I shouldn’t have cancelled his plan. Next time I won’t I promise. She smiles as Jay looks upon her with a smile.

He sits beside her and pulls out a ring box from his upper shirt pocket. Oh my god! Don’t tell me it’s what I am thinking. He wanted to propose yesterday! I am such a dumbass. I shouldn’t have forced my plan on to him yesterday! I don’t know what to do? Should I say yes immediately? Or should I just take some time to tease him before saying yes? I can’t believe he’s actually doing this even after I ditched on his plan yesterday with a lie. Oh he’s such a sweetheart.

Jay opens the ring box and pulls out the ring. It was a nice diamond and platinum ring. It’s beauty was enhanced as the mild candle light was making it shine like a star.  He looks in Anjani’s eyes taking her hand, “Will you marry me Anu?” She wanted to say yes but her mouth wasn’t obeying her. It felt as if her inner conscious was stopping her for being selfish for once. “Jay, I really love you but do you mind if I take some time to answer?” That’s all she could come up with. She was in a constant mental debate whether she should be selfish and say yes for once or she should think about Parnika and help Jay to discover his feelings for her. “Uhm…Okay…Sure…. I know it’s a huge decision and a big deal for girls. I wanted to do this yesterday but then you know what happened. But no worries, you take your time. I thought its a good idea to take our relationship further.” Jay places the ring back in the box and begins to eat as their order arrives in the meantime.

Why was I unable to say Yes, I love him. I can say yes, its not  a big deal. People have one sided feelings all the time. But this wasn’t a one sided love. He loves her and just isn’t aware about it. He thinks she’s just a super close childhood friend. He just needs to think of her more than a friend. But why should I spoil my relationship when I have been already so far in it and everything’s going so good? I know he loves her then why did he ask me out? I don’t mind what others think about it. But what if he later finds out about his feelings later? Sooner or later, He’d meet Pari again and there’s a chance that he might leave me for her? Am I really that bad?  I know he likes me because I am just similar to her but should i really go ahead with that? Will I be able to replace her in with myself in his heart ever?

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